


The Feeling is Mutual

by entre_nous



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Batcave, Batman - Freeform, Dick Grayson - Freeform, Dick Grayson is Nightwing, Jason Todd - Freeform, Jason Todd is Robin, Kinda, M/M, Masturbation, Shower Sex, Voyeurism, i'm jaydick trash as usual, ish, jaydick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-29
Updated: 2017-03-29
Packaged: 2018-10-12 13:48:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10492206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/entre_nous/pseuds/entre_nous
Summary: Dick isn't a bad person, and he's not usually so conflicted, but the new Robin makes him question himself more than he'd like.





	

**Author's Note:**

> it's been a while, but there comes a day where a girl just realizes she's gotta keep writin' smut. just a little post to get me back into it.

Jason had grown to love the night, the longer he lived with Bruce Wayne. The longer he was Robin. His life was going pretty good, much better, he thought, especially when he was introduced to the former Robin. Dick Grayson. He had only ever seen some pictures of Dick, from when he was younger, still living with Bruce. Occasionally, on the batcomputer, a picture or two would come up of him now, a superhero in his own right, and Jason would be lying if he’d said he was never tempted to creep down to the cave in the middle of Bruce’s sleeping hours, and pull up anything he could on Nightwing.

Jason was nervous to meet him. He was nervous to meet Barbara, too, but not for the same reasons. Barbara came first, she was sweet, seemed proud that Bruce had a new Robin, and, in her words when she thought Jason wasn’t listening ‘a kid that was taking full advantage of the opportunity Bruce was giving him’, she even said that Jason seemed like a really great kid. He had never heard that in his life. Sometimes this family was so nice to him, it made him sick, but not in a good way. Most of the time, he felt he might not deserve it, but he may as well be happy about it while it lasted. He worried that, at some point, he might disappoint them all.

When he met Dick, it was late at night, and he had heard Bruce talking to someone down the hall from his room. He thought it was Alfred, but when he opened his door as quietly as he could and peaked around the corner, he looked to see Dick’s back facing him, not as far away as he thought. There was no shame felt in him, really, when he stared for too long, both admiring and lusting over the other man’s shoulders and broad back and the way his pants fit him just right…he thought, he’d never seen someone look so good in a pair of fucking jeans before.

He tried to slip back into his room unnoticed, only to hear Bruce ask softly yet loud enough down the hall, “Jason? Are you awake?”

Then he heard Bruce walking towards his door.

He stood in his doorway, and made eye contact with Bruce, and Bruce noted the wide look in his eyes, not sure if it was curiosity or something else.

Dick followed behind Bruce, not too close, and tilted his head to look at Jason for the first time ever. He had only heard about Jason, but never saw him, and the first thing that shocked Dick was how tall he was for being only 15 years old. He almost didn’t _look_ fifteen, he looked to be approaching his twenties, in every area except for maybe his face. He still looked like a teenager there. But not…enough.

Dick looked away abruptly, pushing those thoughts out of his head. Mentally smacking his own hand and repeating to himself, _no, he **is** fifteen, you can’t just decide he’s not because you don’t want him to be_.

Immediately, there was so much guilt that Dick already felt, for leaving Bruce, for what he’d heard about how Bruce found Jason, and for looking at Jason the way he did and maybe Jason knowing exactly why he was looking at him that way.

“I want you to meet your predecessor,” it felt to both of them that it took forever for Bruce to say that, “this is Dick. Dick, this is Jason.”

Dick looked to him again, and was shocked that Jason was the first to hold out his hand and say, “Nice to meet you, Dick.”

With a soft smile, Dick spoke quieter than he had intended, “Nice to meet you, too.” And shook his hand, feeling how soft even the tips of his fingers still were…obviously he hadn’t been Robin for too long. As Bruce had told them, he’d only just started patrolling the streets with him, which must’ve been why everything about him just looked a little too –

“I’m sorry if we woke you, Jason.” Bruce explained, probably seeing the way Jason looked at Dick a little too long, and wanting to be in denial that it was more than admiration.

“You didn’t, I hadn’t really gone to sleep yet.”

“You adjusting to that night-shift yet?” Dick asked, trying to ease his tense shoulders and not look so stiff.

“Trying to,” Jason laughed with this smile that looked maybe a little too friendly, yet still gave Dick this feeling in his chest that he wanted Bruce to punch out of him.

“We’ll let you get to sleep, then.” Bruce _tried_ to sound sympathetic, but that was impossible, Dick thought, because there was still that edge to his voice. Like he _knew_ something that they didn’t…or maybe something that they didn’t want Bruce knowing, he already knew.

“Okay,” Jason murmured, looking up at Bruce, and Dick thought very loudly and aggressively that Jason was way too fucking gorgeous to be lurking around at night and being kept away from the real world, full of normal people. It’s not as if Dick hadn’t felt that way about himself, or Bruce for that matter, but Jason acted, looked, and felt too unique to be…Robin. He couldn’t tell if he resented Bruce for this or not.

Dick hated that he couldn’t make up his mind about Jason. He already knew he would like him, but he was trying to talk himself out of it. He wondered if Bruce expected there to be hostility.

Quietly he said, “Goodnight, Jason.”

Immediately afterwards, Jason said, “Goodnight,” a little lighter and slightly louder than Bruce.

After Bruce walked past Dick, he acted as if he wasn’t even there, and that the only people in that house were himself, and Jason, and Alfred down the hall already in bed. But in reality, he figured they were sizing each other up, and that maybe Dick wasn’t as okay with it as he would have liked to be.

And Jason stood there, waiting for Dick to even blink and turn away, but instead, he looked Jason up and down once more, which triggered this hot feeling of anger in Jason, who honestly felt alienated now, and pissed that Dick seemed so judgmental.

Dick was going to say goodnight, again, but once again Jason beat him to it, instead with a quiet but firm, “What?”

“Nothing,” Dick heard himself say, flinching as if Jason had raised his hand to hit him, “goodnight.”

He felt so embarrassed for just standing there staring at Jason like that. He felt like an asshole, too, and like Jason took it the wrong way. He didn’t feel his eyes narrowing, but they might’ve?

He didn’t look back, though, even after he heard Jason shut his door. Immediately he wanted to go back and explain himself to Jason.

He couldn’t sleep easily at even the thought that he had come off as judging Jason. He wondered how he would’ve reacted if there had been someone before him, that came into what he considered his new home just a few weeks after he had first been Robin, and was met with a quiet, prodding jackass like himself.

However, there was no amount of guilt that was going to reverse it. Things would be different after everyone had gotten rest.

But they weren’t. And this time the stares were coming from Jason, who was eerily silent, even by Bruce’s standards. The first time he saw Jason again, Dick was startled when he was walking out of the kitchen after eating breakfast, only for Jason to sigh heavily and squeeze past him through the doorframe after Dick had jumped a fucking mile that Jason had even had the ability to sneak up on him like that.

“Wow,” Dick laughed nervously, “you’re really quiet.”

With only a side glance, before Jason reached into the cabinet, he mumbled, “Yeah, it was part of my training.”

_I knew that, asshole_ , Dick thought as he watched Jason, probably with a similar stare from last night. After he made himself a bowl of cereal, Jason acted like Dick wasn’t even there, and finally Dick left. He only stood there for so long because he was trying to figure out a way to explain that he didn’t mean to come off as rude last night. He wanted to explain that he was just…this was different. And he wasn’t expecting Jason to... _look_ the way he did. Just saying that in his mind, he knew Jason would be even more hostile at the sound of that comment.

But Dick didn’t explain himself, he let the day pass without another word. It was as if the longer he did that, the more territorial and defensive Jason grew.

Dick had another one of his conflicting thoughts after Jason asked Bruce something quietly after patrol, and then headed upstairs without so much as a glance in Dick’s direction, _great, the kid that took over as Robin hates me_.

While Dick and Bruce had a discussion down in the cave, about whether Jason really did hate him, or if Dick had brought this on himself, Jason was upstairs in his room, spine digging into the porcelain bathtub, with hot water hitting his inner thighs from the shower above. It was dark, the only way anyone would know he was still awake, much less showering, was the sound of running water. His left arm was crossed over his chest, his fingertips touching his parted lips steadily, expecting himself to make some noise as his right hand gripped a little too hard at the head of his cock.

If he didn’t do this, after Dick began joining them on patrol, he might explode with anger, that wasn’t really anger, towards Dick. Jason thought about what an idiot he was, how he looked so nervous on patrol that night when he noticed Jason always seemed to be staring at him with what he thought was nothing but resentment. In reality, Jason was fantasizing, for the hundredth time, about tearing the thin shiny fabric of Dick’s costume off of his body. Once he got that costume off of him just enough, he could never decide where he wanted to let his mind wander, to the thought of Dick fucking him, or the thought of pinning Dick to the metal stairs of a fire escape and fucking _him_. Jason thought Dick looked like he was loud when he fucked, after hearing Dick fight.

This was all Jason felt he thought about since he’d met Dick that night. And this was the only thing he felt he could do to ease his own frustration.

His right foot pressed into the opposite end of the porcelain tub, so hard that it felt he might crush his foot into it with the pressure. He watched his abs tense each time he exhaled, until he was breathing faster, shutting his eyes and tilting his head back. His lips parted and he ground out a moan into the darkness of the room. The thought that did him in was Dick finding him like this, watching him, how it was okay for him to lust after Dick, but not the other way around, because Bruce would break Dick’s neck, but understand Jason’s teenage lust entirely, even if it was for the former Robin.

The first couple times Jason showered upstairs, in his room, and not in the cave, he felt embarrassed about it, but then Bruce didn’t ask any questions, and he thought that maybe neither of them knew, so it was his secret.

For a while after he’d finished, he stayed laying there, staring up at the ceiling, or what he could see of it, and let his breathing calm down again, let the water slowly wash away the thickness that coated his stomach, and the sweat that stuck his Robin suit to his skin when he got undressed.

Finally he pulled himself up groggily, blinking a couple times before rubbing his eyes viciously and yawning for a long time before shutting off the water and slicking his clean, wet hair back. He turned on the light, noticed that he’d forgotten to lock his bathroom door, and then looked in the mirror at his body for a long while, wondering if Dick looked anything like him when he was Robin. From pictures it looked like he was shorter and leaner at his age. During his last teenage years, he obviously grew taller than Jason, and put on a little more lean muscle.

Dick worried that Jason was never going to speak to him like a civilized human being. One Friday night, when Bruce decided to stay out to deal with something that didn’t require Dick or Jason’s help, they went back to the cave. Dick tried talking to Jason, but Jason was, for the most part, silent with the exception of a few grunts of acknowledgment.

“What’s your problem?” Dick finally asked, mostly the annoyance and rage pushing him over the edge because he couldn’t understand why Jason was holding a misplaced grudge.

“I don’t have one.” Jason finally spoke more than just one word.

“Right,”

“What?” Jason asked as if Dick had spoken too quietly.

“You’ve been skulking around the house and almost knocking me out of the way anytime I’m in your path. You never talk to me, but you’ll gladly sit there and talk to Bruce and Alfred without acknowledging that I’m even there or saying anything.”

“So?”

“So, don’t you realize how rude that is?”

“I didn’t realize you wanted me to like you so bad.” Jason _laughed_ and Dick wanted nothing more than to punch him in the face, but he couldn’t start a fight with him, because he was driving, though that was the _only_ thing holding him back really.

“You’re joking, right?”

Jason shrugged softly, “I thought my wanting your acceptance would be more important.”

“But it isn’t, is it?” Dick guessed, and he hated himself for the way he was snapping at Jason, but Jason seemed like he couldn’t care less.

“Guess not,” Jason chuckled, “Bruce would tell me that’s a good thing.”

“Actually, Bruce wants us to get along but you’re making that impossible.”

The way Jason slammed his heels against the dashboard startled Dick, especially since the interior of that “car” was worth more than him and Jason combined.

He rotated his feet in circles after kicking them up, and said, “Cry me a river.”

Silence didn’t ease the rage between both of them, it only made it worse. When they pulled into the cave, Jason was so eager to get out and bolt upstairs, or so Dick thought.

For the first time since Dick had been here, Jason went to the showers at the back end of the cave, acting as if he did just that every night after patrol. Dick watched him before he disappeared around the corner of the stalls.

The showers down in the cave were so large and plenty because at times Bruce had the entire Justice League stay in the manor. Dick could remember the cave feeling even less cramped then, having a bunch of adults that were twice his size moving around in the area, and yet here Jason was, not even Dick’s size, and taking up more room with his entire attitude.

Although Jason was showering in the cave, he wasn’t taking his time, he only did the essentials and he was out before Dick could even make it in after writing up a report for that night’s uneventful patrol of most of the city.

Dick was just walking in the doorway when Jason came around the corner in only a robe, and ready to punch his way through Dick if he didn’t move. Something came over Dick that made him stand his ground, and block Jason from leaving.

“Move.” Jason demanded, impatiently, trying to shove past him only for Dick to shove him back with his hands.

“You know, for being a kid, you’re such an asshole.” If Bruce were here, he not only would have intervened, but maybe would have been shocked because those words, he thought, would have _never_ left Dick’s mouth, especially to someone who was taking on the identity as Robin.

Dick couldn’t lie; he wanted more than just this _passive_ demeanor from Jason, maybe for Jason to show that he respected Dick.

“Like I care what you think?” Jason snarled, trying to physically move Dick, and only now being reminded that he wasn’t strong enough to do so.

Finally Jason just stood there, and then looked up at him, “So, what, you’re going to keep me down here?”

Dick had a dark look in his eyes, until Jason continued, “Make me watch you shower, because you’re a fucking freak.” Now he knew that Jason was trying to push his buttons as well, as if he hadn’t already been trying to.

“I’m the freak?” Dick asked incredulously.

“Well, you won’t let me go upstairs, I can only imagine what the fuck you’re thinking of doing.”

When Dick tried to move behind Jason and shove him out, Jason stepped back and in front of him, “You know why I shower upstairs don’t you?”

Jason was getting on Dick’s nerves, he knew that anything he was going to say was going to be some load of bulllshit to make Dick angry.

“I don’t fucking care, I don’t know why you showered down here tonight, though.”

“You don’t care?” asked Jason, stepping back and in the way everytime Dick tried to move around him.

“Jason, move,”

“Oh, now you want _me_ to move?” Jason asked, stepping so close to Dick and showing that although there was a height difference, it wasn’t much, “Why don’t you make me?”

Dick was going to lose it, being challenged by Jason standing in front of him with his hair a fucking mess and his skin still wet and the robe he was wearing clinging to his body. The more he acted this way, the harder it was for Dick to remember he was too young for him to…

Jason raised his dark eyebrows, looking expectantly at Dick. Jason knew that Dick was going to go for each side of his robe to grab, and he did, but too quickly and too hard for him to even pull back before his back slammed against the doorframe. Somehow, the force of it had him halfway down the wall, breathless, laughing “You missed the d-“ in an instant, Jason was hauled back up by those same hands that had thrown him, Dick’s knuckles pressing so hard into his chest to pin him against the wall, that Jason knew it would bruise.

Jason could feel it. He wasn’t sure how much he cared if Dick noticed that he’d gotten hard in the short amount of time that Dick had been manhandling him.

“If I’m a kid, then why are you being so mean to me?” Dick hated Jason more than anything right now, because he knew exactly how much he was fucking with his head, and he was smiling, loving every minute of it.

“Tell me why you shower upstairs.” Dick insisted.

Through thick eyelashes and with bloodshot eyes Jason stared up at Dick, then leaned back, looking too tired to explain himself, “You know why.”

“No, I clearly don’t. Tell me.”

“Let go of me.” Jason said softly, feeling Dick’s breath on his chest.

“Not until you tell me.”

“I’m not good at explaining things-“

“ _Bullshit_ , Jason.”

With a long moment of silence, Jason continued to stare before whispering, “If you come up there tomorrow night you’ll know why.”

Without a proper agreement, Dick let Jason go, watching him readjust his robe before he left.

They were both distracted during patrol the next night, but not enough for Bruce to notice. Jason hadn’t been sure, after he’d said that, if Dick knew what he meant. Knew that Jason was giving him permission to barge in.  It felt…wrong, and Jason regretted it, if he thought about it too much.

Regardless of knowing whether Dick was going to come in or not, Jason did what he would normally do. He only let the preinstalled light censoring lamp light the room very dimly. He thought about what he usually thought about, not that that would be important to Dick, all that mattered was that he couldn’t do this in the showers downstairs. When he heard the door to his room open, and then shut, even through the pouring water, he then heard the door to his bathroom open, and then shut, and then lock, and he felt something coiling around his gut.

Dick hadn’t changed yet, and Jason could see that, he had already showered but hadn’t gotten dressed, wearing an identical robe to Jason’s last night. He pulled the shower curtain aside just enough to look down at Jason. Dick didn’t look too surprised. Jason wasn’t sure how he felt about that, not like Dick hadn’t known what he was walking into.

He stood there in silence, watching Jason, and feeling the aching in his own erection, considering he’d been hard since he took off his suit.

Before Dick had even come up, Jason told himself he wouldn’t let it get out of hand. He had hoped Dick would understand if he told him that he couldn’t touch him, that no, he had to stay right where he was and could only watch. He expected this to go a certain way. But when Dick closed the curtain and then opened the other side closest to Jason’s face, he hadn’t expected it. He hadn’t expected Dick to kneel down next to the tub, and he didn’t know what he was even doing, or why Dick decided to kiss Jason first.

This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. Jason hadn’t decided whether making out was off limits or not, but in this moment, he couldn’t tell himself, or Dick, that it wasn’t okay.

If Jason tugged at his robe the right way, Dick would be as naked as he was. Jason made a soft noise in surprise when he felt Dick touch him, wrapping his fingers just below Jason’s own, and then pushing them away gently before he started pumping Jason’s cock slowly, mostly feeling, almost as if he wanted to know every feature of Jason’s cock, how thick he was, how big, and Jason began to wonder what he looked like compared to Dick. He was so lost in thought that he couldn’t tell Dick no. The longer this went on, it grew too late to turn back from it, Jason thought.

“You’re not supposed to touch me.” Jason breathed.

“You don’t want me to?”

“It doesn’t matter what I want, Dick, you’re not supposed to.”

“I’m not supposed to do a lot of things, baby,” Dick’s breathing was heavy, his voice was dark, lust and guilt mixed in there as he spoke against Jason’s lips. He sounded incredibly sexy.

Jason rested back against Dick’s arm that had somehow gotten behind his head. Through half lidded eyes, Jason stared up at Dick, not caring how Dick was touching him anymore, just that he was touching him.

“’S okay, when I was homeless –“

“Shh,” Dick hushed him against his lips.

Jason wanted more than this, but he couldn’t ask, he couldn’t move, he let Dick move his lips over his own and down to his neck, his fingers still tracing lines and closing around him, feeling every inch of him.

Suddenly Jason thought he heard Dick cooing softly against him, “You’re so ready, aren’t you, Jay.”

Jason shuddered, a groan crawling up his throat in response. He tucked his head against Dick’s neck, gripped the other side with his hand, felt the raging pulse in Dick’s neck and groaned again, this time into the sensitive skin.

“Fuck,” Dick muttered under his breath, resting his chin on Jason, and watching the way the younger man’s legs tensed, in his thighs and then watching his toes curl. He could feel Jason holding his breath, only letting out choked moans after his lower abdomen convulsed each time.

The moment Jason’s fingernails dug into his neck, Dick knew that this would change things, realized exactly what he was doing, and was kneeling there with his mouth hung open in awe at the sight and sound of Jason releasing over his knuckles.

“Dick,” Jason breathed in relief, “what did –“ the sound of guilt in Jason’s voice immediately made Dick turn to him.

“It’s fine.”

“No,”

“Yes, it is, because I say it is.” Dick told him quietly.

Jason stared up at him, with the same, if not more of the amount of guilt that Dick felt. That guilt, however, had eased, because Dick knew very well there was now nothing he could do to reverse his actions.

He thought, Bruce never killed, but he certainly would have beaten the life out of Dick for what he’d done. The look on Jason’s face was reason enough. It was as if Jason were still an innocent boy, but that wasn’t true, and Dick knew that. He lived on the streets for Christ’s sake.

“Do you want to –“

“I think you’d better get to bed.” Dick said quietly, as if he genuinely cared about Jason’s well being and wasn’t extremely selfish for keeping him up.

“But –“ each time Jason went to talk, Dick interrupted him, and there was something in him, that if he weren’t so tired would have manifested itself as rage.

“We’ll talk about this tomorrow.” Dick spoke over the running water, pushing Jason’s hair back somewhat affectionately before kissing above his right eyebrow, and then standing up, feeling and seeing just then how hard he was. He knew that that was what Jason was trying to ask about. However, he didn’t want to stay any longer, thinking that for that night, that was enough, and that was all he had in him.

He looked down at Jason still, and watched Jason’s round, blue eyes observe him before pushing his hands own his wet skin, and gripping the side of the tub to get up.

“Dick, wait – “ Jason spoke after him as he began to open the door, not realizing in his own mind that Bruce was probably getting home about now.

“Just get some rest, Jay.” Dick demanded, looking him in the eyes deeply once more before stepping out of the steamy bathroom and shutting the door, leaving Jason standing in there, leaning around the shower curtain.

At some point, Dick would live this down. But it wasn’t going to happen before this night, maybe even this week, was over.


End file.
